Obama’s Full White House Correspondents’ Dinner Jokes – Video

President Obama Telling Jokes at 2012 White House Correspondents' Dinner

President Barack Obama was the headliner comedian at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner last night in Washington, D.C.

Obama performed a stand-up comedy set of jokes during the televised event poking fun at his graying hair, the recent Secret Service hooker scandal, Donald Trump, Mitt Romney and lavish spending at a government conference in Las Vegas.

Last year, he made fun of Trump and his “Celebrity Apprentice” TV show because he was pushing the President to release his long-form birth certificate.

A photo of Donald Trump was shown, rather than one of the dead Osama bin Laden.

He had a funny joke about Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s recet partying at the Summit of the Americas in Colombia where the Secret Service scandal occurred.

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“Four years ago, I was in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton,” Obama said. “Four years later, she won’t stop drunk texting me from Cartagena.”

“We gather during a historic anniversary. This weekend last year we finally delivered justice to one of the world’s most notorious individuals,” Obama said to the crowd of over 2,500 people in the ballroom at the Washington Hilton hotel.

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He then pointed out photos of his hair four years ago, and in 2012, showing it had grayed considerably.

“Four years from now I will look like this,” he said to laughs as a photo of actor Morgan Freeman was shown to the audience.

He made some jokes about Mitt Romney painting his dog Bo as being a welfare queen and the Humane Society’s depressing adoption commercials. Then, he made a joke about eating dogs.

“Pit bulls are delicious,” he joked, and the crowd cringed.

Obama said: “My conspiracy oriented friends on the right who think I’m planning to unleash some secret agenda – you’re absolutely right.”

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Journalists and news organizations were in attendance, and they invited some celebrities.

Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian were the most infamous guests. Pregnant moms Reese Witherspoon and Anna Paquin, Eva Longoria, George Clooney, Stacy Keibler, Claire Danes, Goldie Hawn, Rosario Dawson, Elizabeth Banks, Paul Rudd, Sigourney Weaver, Viola Davis, Kerry Washington, Rachel Zoe, Josh Hutcherson and actors from the “Glee” cast were some of the other entertainers.

The annual gala, also known as the “Nerd Prom,” raises money for journalism scholarships.

The president, speaking before comedian Jimmy Kimmel, made fun of a General Services Adminstration conference in Las Vegas that cost more than $800,000 that resulted in him having to fire some people involved.

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“Look at this party. We have men in tuxes – women in gowns – fine wine – first-class entertainment. I was relieved to hear it was not a GSA conference,” Obama said.

He even roasted Kimmel, host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”

“Jimmy got his start on the ‘Man Show.’ In Washington, that is what we call a Congressional hearing on contraception.”

The White House Correspondents’ Dinner has been a tradition in Washington since 1920, when it was first held to boost communication between the press and the President, according to the association’s website.

It was open only to men until 1962, when President John F. Kennedy said he would not attend unless women were invited.

Since then, some of the First Ladies have had some of the best jokes.

In 2005, Laura Bush said friends went out one night to see male strippers after Bush, “Mr. Excitement,” was typically fast asleep at 9 pm.

First lady Hillary Clinton was featured in a video clip shown at the 2000 dinner. Seated in a limousine, she told the camera, “I wish I could be here more, but I really think Bill has everything under control.”

The President ran out to the White House driveway, yelling after the departing car, shouting, “Wait! Wait! You forgot your lunch!”

Video of the full 2012 comedy monologue by President Obama: